The Elitist

November 8, 2008

Sarah Palin Hearts Ted Stevens Again

Filed under: Alaska, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 9:42 pm

Now that Sarah Palin has been exiled back to Alaska, she has to try and regain the Alaskan’s love. Everyone there decided that she sucked after she turned all uber-stupid while running for vice president. But Palin know that there is one thing Alaskans adore – their old corrupt cranky politicians. And they loooove Ted Stevens, the oldest, corruptest, crankiest of politicians. Even after seven felony convictions they love Stevens. So Palin is no longer calling for Stevens’ resignation. It’s up to everyone else to figure that out. It turns out opinions were too much for her. What a maverick.

Politico – Palin and Stevens

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November 6, 2008

We Don’t Have Sarah Palin to Kick Around Anymore

Filed under: Alaska, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 11:47 am

Actually, yes we do. Sarah Palin’s not going anywhere, except Alaska of course. But now that the election is over, we’re learning about what a completely worthless candidate she really was, as if we didn’t know. The infighting between her and the McCain campaign staff was no secret, but it was so much worse than reported. She had gone rogue, and that pissed off the campaign. She had also gotten caught in a prank call by some Canadians. But the campaign also had concerns about her understanding of basic subjects. According to Fox News, Palin had some knowledge deficits such as:

  • She didn’t know that Africa was a continent. She thought it was a country.
  • She didn’t know what countries were party to NAFTA.
  • She threw “temper tantrums” at bad press.
  • She refused to prepare for her interviews, which was obvious.

Here’s the video:

Now we know that Sarah Palin is an idiot. This reflects even worse on John McCain though. The sole criteria for selecting a vice president is choosing someone who will be able to replace you in case the worst happens. McCain clearly chose the wrong person. Hell, she didn’t even know what a VP was supposed to do.

So what’s next for Sarah Palin? Rumors are flying. One says that when Sen. Ted Stevens wins, he’ll be kicked out of the Senate, and then Palin will nominate herself in his place. Of course, there is plenty of speculation that she’ll run for president in 2012. Perhaps the funniest bit of news lately, is that the Republican party is soul searching and looking for new ideas. For that, they’re looking to their governors, especially Sarah Palin. No, Palin’s not going away any time soon. There will be plenty of jokes for the future.

NY Times – Infighting

The Telegraph – Road to the Senate

Fox News – GOP’s Future Lies in Palin

November 4, 2008

Wasilla Goes Crazy on Election Day

Filed under: Alaska, National Rifle Association, Presidential Election 2008, Sarah Palin — The Elitist @ 1:55 pm

That wonderful little chunk of Real AmericaTM known as Wasilla, Alaska, is all in a tizzy as their old mayor gets ready to lose. How are they going to celebrate this momentous occasion? With booze and guns of course. The National Rifle Association is sponsoring an election party where they will provide alcohol and teach gun safety classes. What could possible go wrong?

Politico – Wasilla Parties

October 31, 2008

Sarah Palin’s Alaska a Communist Paradise

Filed under: Alaska, Barack Obama, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008, Sarah Palin — The Elitist @ 12:14 pm
Sarah Palins Gubernatorial Campaign Poster

Sarah Palin's Gubernatorial Campaign Poster

John McCain and Sarah Palin have been harshly attacking Barack Obama for being a socialist. The attacks gained steam after their puppet, Joe the Plumber, caught Obama saying it was ok to “spread the wealth.”  But, in reality, it is Sarah Palin who is the true Soviet. A few weeks before her doomed nomination as VP, she told a reporter for the New Yorker that Alaska is

“Set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs.”

Alaskans actually get a check every year for $3,269 from the government. “Share the wealth.” “Collectively.” It all sounds suspiciously socialist. Perhaps we need a new McCarthy to weed out the Red Menace. The Elitist would like to nominate present day Sarah Palin, a known Commie-hater, to investigate Sarah Palin from three months ago. We’ll get to the bottom of this.

The New Yorker – Palin a Communist

October 30, 2008

Ted Stevens’ Candidacy to Nowhere

Filed under: Alaska, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 3:43 pm

Corrupt, angry old man Ted Stevens is continuing his campaign for the U.S. Senate despite his seven felony convictions. He returned to Alaska among cheers from supporters who obviously love America and the dirty politicians who support it. Sen. Mitch McConnell said that there is a 100% certainty that the Senate would vote to expel Stevens were he reelected, which truly makes his a campaign to nowhere. What is with Alaskan politicians running for offices they can’t possibly win? Even Sarah Palin has called for Stevens to resign, and she is also being accused of corruption. The real question is, how is this Barack Obama’s fault?

NY Times – Stevens a Hero

October 28, 2008

Ted Stevens Guilty

Filed under: Alaska, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 6:19 pm

Hahaha! Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens was found guilty on 7 counts of being a crusty old fart who takes bribes and lies about them. Specifically, he didn’t report $250,000 worth of gifts and home renovations given to him. Stevens is famous for being a real shit and believing the internet is a “series of tubes.” He also spear headed the infamous “bridge to nowhere.” Here is a little video about his reaction to the verdict:

Since the mess, more and more people are recognizing Alaska as one of the most corrupt states in the Union. I wonder if he has any ties to Sarah Palin?

NY Times – Stevens Guilty

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