The Elitist

October 30, 2008

Joe a No Show

Filed under: Barack Obama, Israel, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008 — The Elitist @ 3:58 pm

Joe the Plumber is making all the headlines these days, even more than John McCain it seems. Yesterday he made the claim that Barack Obama will personally destroy Israel with his bare hands. Which makes sense. He then told Fox News viewers that they should figure out for themselves why he would make such a moronic statement.

Today he was supposed to appear at a McCain rally to discuss Obama’s hatred of America and plumbers. McCain introduced him, and then there was an akward pause. Joe the Plumber didn’t show up. Joe claims that it was the campaign’s fault for not calling enough times or something. Is the McCain campaign trying to fuck up now? Is McCain’s “underdog” status so important that they are actually self-sabotaging? The world may never know, but here’s the video of an old man who looks like he doesn’t know what’s going on:

We’re all Joe the Plumbers. That is to say, we’re all bald weirdos using a bizarre 15 minutes of fame to try and make a shallow political career.

Dallas News – Obama Will Kill Israel

CNN – Joe a No Show

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October 25, 2008

Joe the Plumber for Congress

Filed under: Joe the Plumber — The Elitist @ 3:13 pm

Remember how Joe the Plumber got thrust into the spot light for standing up to bully, face-carver Barack Obama? Just a few days ago, Mr. Plumber said that he was sick of the media attention…which is what he said to the media as they were giving him attention. Well, it was all bullshit and now he wants to run for Congress in 2010. This is bad news for Joe, as the attention he has been getting isn’t exactly all good. We here at The Elitist believed that he shouldn’t be destroyed by the media (even as we did it ourselves). But now that he’s a Congressional candidate, all bets are off! So here’s what we know so far:

  • Joe Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber, isn’t actually a plumber. He never bothered to get licensed.
  • Joe is a long-time Republican who supported John McCain even before his little stunt.
  • Joe is related to Charles Keating’s (of the Keating 5) son-in-law who also happened to be VP of the parent company of the Lincoln Savings and Loan, which caused a mini-Depression in the late 80’s.

There’s probably more, but the whole thing is stale and boring. Why couldn’t he just fade away?

CNN – Joe the Plumber for Congress

October 16, 2008

It’s a Small World After All

Filed under: Barack Obama, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008 — The Elitist @ 12:30 pm

Hahahaha! Joe Wurzelbacher, aka Joe Plumber, isn’t the undecided voter that everyone makes him out to be. Not only has he decided, but he has a bit of shared history with McCain. Joe Plumber’s whole family seems to have been caught up in the Keating Five mess, along with John McCain. Joe’s relative is Charles Keating’s son-in-law and former vice-president of American Continental, parent company of the Lincoln Savings and Loan, which was the center of the savings and loan scandal. Why does Obama’s plans hurt guys like this? And more importantly, how can John McCain help?

Crooks & Liars – Joe Plumber Tied to Keating Five

Presidential Debate Analysis

Filed under: Barack Obama, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008 — The Elitist @ 12:12 pm

Last night was the last presidential debate of the year. If you saw the first two debates, then you pretty much saw this one as well. Not a whole lot changed, not even their catch phrases. The real thing to watch was the emotional reactions of each of the candidates. Obama played it cool, like the stoner on the couch. See if you can tell which emotion John McCain was going for:

“Americans are hurting right now, and they’re angry. They’re hurting, and they’re angry. They’re innocent victims of greed and excess on Wall Street and as well as Washington, D.C. And they’re angry, and they have every reason to be angry.”

They had a fun little fight over Roe v. Wade, in which McCain said that “health” was a liberal abortionist code word for killing babies. Doctors all understand this and are sure to lay a frothy steamer on a dead fetus anytime someone comes into their office complaining about their “health.”

Everyone is talking about how the line of the debate is McCain’s quip about not being President Bush. But the truth is, the funniest part was when McCain “slipped” and called Obama, “Senator Government.” Senator Government Hussein Obama. It’s got a ring to it.

Finally, they talked about the negative ads that are around. Obama made a claim that 100% of McCain’s ads have been negative, which is blatantly false. Just 100% of the ads in the last couple of weeks…and the scary hate rallies…and the name-calling. We must remember that this campaign season has last at least 50 years. If only Obama had gone to McCain’s town hall meetings, this all could have been avoided. Obama clearly hates America.

But who was the real winner of this debate? You guessed it – Joe Plumber. The two fought over him like a couple of wolves tearing at a carcass. Meanwhile, Joe Plumber is probably an ignorant mouth-breather who doesn’t know his ass from his elbow, and under a more enlightened society wouldn’t be allowed out in public, much less to vote. Ironically, he is now way up in the polls and may actually pull off a win. October surprise! Joe Six-Pack has already dropped out as everyone forgot about him. As it turns out, the real Joe Plumber already made up his mind, so this whole debate was actually a waste of time. The end.

NY Times – Debate Transcripts

Daily Kos – Joe Plumber Not Undecided

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