The Elitist

November 8, 2008

Sarah Palin Hearts Ted Stevens Again

Filed under: Alaska, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 9:42 pm

Now that Sarah Palin has been exiled back to Alaska, she has to try and regain the Alaskan’s love. Everyone there decided that she sucked after she turned all uber-stupid while running for vice president. But Palin know that there is one thing Alaskans adore – their old corrupt cranky politicians. And they loooove Ted Stevens, the oldest, corruptest, crankiest of politicians. Even after seven felony convictions they love Stevens. So Palin is no longer calling for Stevens’ resignation. It’s up to everyone else to figure that out. It turns out opinions were too much for her. What a maverick.

Politico – Palin and Stevens

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November 6, 2008

We Don’t Have Sarah Palin to Kick Around Anymore

Filed under: Alaska, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 11:47 am

Actually, yes we do. Sarah Palin’s not going anywhere, except Alaska of course. But now that the election is over, we’re learning about what a completely worthless candidate she really was, as if we didn’t know. The infighting between her and the McCain campaign staff was no secret, but it was so much worse than reported. She had gone rogue, and that pissed off the campaign. She had also gotten caught in a prank call by some Canadians. But the campaign also had concerns about her understanding of basic subjects. According to Fox News, Palin had some knowledge deficits such as:

  • She didn’t know that Africa was a continent. She thought it was a country.
  • She didn’t know what countries were party to NAFTA.
  • She threw “temper tantrums” at bad press.
  • She refused to prepare for her interviews, which was obvious.

Here’s the video:

Now we know that Sarah Palin is an idiot. This reflects even worse on John McCain though. The sole criteria for selecting a vice president is choosing someone who will be able to replace you in case the worst happens. McCain clearly chose the wrong person. Hell, she didn’t even know what a VP was supposed to do.

So what’s next for Sarah Palin? Rumors are flying. One says that when Sen. Ted Stevens wins, he’ll be kicked out of the Senate, and then Palin will nominate herself in his place. Of course, there is plenty of speculation that she’ll run for president in 2012. Perhaps the funniest bit of news lately, is that the Republican party is soul searching and looking for new ideas. For that, they’re looking to their governors, especially Sarah Palin. No, Palin’s not going away any time soon. There will be plenty of jokes for the future.

NY Times – Infighting

The Telegraph – Road to the Senate

Fox News – GOP’s Future Lies in Palin

October 30, 2008

Ted Stevens’ Candidacy to Nowhere

Filed under: Alaska, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 3:43 pm

Corrupt, angry old man Ted Stevens is continuing his campaign for the U.S. Senate despite his seven felony convictions. He returned to Alaska among cheers from supporters who obviously love America and the dirty politicians who support it. Sen. Mitch McConnell said that there is a 100% certainty that the Senate would vote to expel Stevens were he reelected, which truly makes his a campaign to nowhere. What is with Alaskan politicians running for offices they can’t possibly win? Even Sarah Palin has called for Stevens to resign, and she is also being accused of corruption. The real question is, how is this Barack Obama’s fault?

NY Times – Stevens a Hero

October 28, 2008

Ted Stevens Guilty

Filed under: Alaska, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens — The Elitist @ 6:19 pm

Hahaha! Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens was found guilty on 7 counts of being a crusty old fart who takes bribes and lies about them. Specifically, he didn’t report $250,000 worth of gifts and home renovations given to him. Stevens is famous for being a real shit and believing the internet is a “series of tubes.” He also spear headed the infamous “bridge to nowhere.” Here is a little video about his reaction to the verdict:

Since the mess, more and more people are recognizing Alaska as one of the most corrupt states in the Union. I wonder if he has any ties to Sarah Palin?

NY Times – Stevens Guilty

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