The Elitist

November 7, 2008

Putin on the Ritz

Filed under: Dmitri Medvedev, Russia, Sarah Palin, Vladimir Putin — The Elitist @ 3:24 pm

Russian “President” Dmitri Medvedev gave a stirring state of the nation address, but we like the part about extending the presidential terms to six years, from four. Rumors are that this will pave the way for Prime Minister, and Russian overlord, Vladimir Putin to make a third term last longer. They say Medvedev has been put in power by Putin in order to pass some constitutional changes that would give Putin more power when he returned to the presidency. So it looks like Putin isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. We’ll just have to hope Sarah Palin is keeping a good eye on them.

NY Times – Putin Keeps Going

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October 19, 2008

The World Hates Sarah Palin

Filed under: Europe, Presidential Election 2008, Russia, Sarah Palin — The Elitist @ 2:19 pm

Sarah Palin has been attacked from all sides during this presidential campaign, but politics is politics here in the States. However, the rest of the world seems to be attacking her too. Europe has overwhelmingly condemned her for her far-right conservative views, with an Irish paper warning that the world could be, “just a heartbeat away from the biggest half-baked Alaskan nightmare.” These sexist socialists have no place making comments on our vice presidential candidates. After all, they are not affected by our politics, unless you count our leadership on the world stage, our economic and military might that impacts the entire world, and our tendency to push our views on foreign countries.

But, there may be someone who does have some say over John McCain’s VP pick. Russia can see Alaska from its shores, thus should have some valuable insight into how Palin would govern. The Russian paper, Pravda, called Palin a “Mrs. Nobody Know-it-All” while a Russian politician called her a “house-wife, chosen by mere chance.” The Russians aren’t exactly known for being objective, but this is, after all, Palin’s area of “expertise.”

Why won’t the world just leave us alone? All America wants is to avoid interacting in the world arena? Just let us concoct our international economic schemes, invasions of foreign countries, and massive diplomacy efforts by ourselves.

CNN – Europe Hates Palin

Wash Post – Russia Hates Palin

October 1, 2008

Breaking News: Czar Murdered for Political Reasons

Filed under: Russia, Vladimir Putin — The Elitist @ 10:29 am

Stop the presses! According to the Supreme Court of Russia, Czar Nicholas II and his family were executed for political reasons when the Bolsheviks dragged them into a basement and shot by firing squad in 1918. Until now, this was considered a murder that had no political motivation. Bolsheviks killing the Czar as they took over power in a bloody coup…nope. No political motivation there.

The Romanovs have already been declared saints by the Russian Orthodox Church. In all the fervor, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin accepted the titles of saint, and Czar of Russia.

While the Russians are going crazy for their Czars, the Georgians are ironically excited about Stalin. Remember Stalin, the brutal tyrant who killed literally tens of millions of his own people, not to mention the terror he inflicted on others outside his country? Yeah, he was Georgian so, how can you not love him?

NY Times – Dead Czar was Murdered

NY Times – Georgians ♥ Stalin

September 29, 2008

Chechnya Feels the Burn

Filed under: Barack Obama, Chechnya, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Russia, The New Cold War — The Elitist @ 9:32 am
Woman! Clean that kitchen!

Woman! Clean that kitchen!

Those wacky Russians! Always doing something crazy. Like burning people’s houses down for something they didn’t do. The Russian-backed Chechnya government has been sending thugs out to burn down the houses of the families of insurgents. Then they force the families to appear on TV to beg their sons to come home. It’s a night of fascinating television, followed by a new episode of The Office. Basically, it’s a Chechen TGIF. 

John McCain immediately suspended his campaign on the news and flew right to a fund-raiser. Hillary Clinton cursed loudly for not thinking of burning the houses of Obama supporters earlier in the campaign. Barack Obama didn’t commit either way. 

NYTimes – “This is for the one who is gone.”

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