The Elitist

November 3, 2008

Brave New World for Twinkies

Filed under: Al Qaeda, False Advertising, Financial Crisis, Iraq War, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 2:14 pm

The new Greatest Depression is causing cutbacks for everyone, including Twinkies. The super-food has been forced to cut back its calories so that East Coast liberals can eat them too. This is just another opportunity to show rehash some old false advertising.

CNN – Twinkies Slimmed


Saudi Arabia Saved Our Lives

Filed under: Saudi Arabia, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 12:48 pm

The Saudi Arabians just announced that back in 2003 they prevented a terrorist attack that would have blown up a plane over a major American city. We will never forget. Of course, it seems strange that the country that bred the 9/11 hijackers waited five years to tell us about this plan, and that it was actually just leaked to a Saudi Arabian newspaper. But hey Americans, don’t worry about the Saudis. They’re our BFFs.

The Telegraph – Saudia Arabia Hearts the U.S.

October 24, 2008

Pakistan Negotiates With Terrorists

Filed under: Pakistan, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 11:07 am

Remember how Pakistan is our BFF with regards to the War on Terror? Well, without psycho military dictator Musharraf in power, they are just more terror-loving Euro-trash. It turns out, they no longer want to fight “America’s war.” The parliament overwhelmingly passed a resolution calling for an end to military action and dialogue with the extremists. The measure passed the same day that there was another U.S. military strike inside Pakistan’s borders. Are they with us or against us? Don’t they know that Iraq is out of the picture and that leaves an empty space on the Axis of Evil? Unless they figured out our dirty little secret – that President Bush is almost out of office and has no real power or influence anymore.

The Guardian – Pakistan Tired of Fighting

October 22, 2008

Terrorists for McCain

Filed under: Al Qaeda, Barack Obama, John McCain, Presidential Election 2008, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 10:52 am

Al-Qaeda is apparently overjoyed by the crashing economy here in the grand ol’ US of A. They’re even taking credit for it. They must have been trading mortgage securities with Fannie Mae or something. Who knew they were so diabolical?

Anyway, with all the endorsements rolling in for Obama (Powell, Washington Post, etc), it was about time McCain got someone on his side. Now it’s official – Al Qaeda endorses John McCain for president. They believe McCain would continue the “failing march of his predecessor,” President Bush. It’s a little disturbing that after seven years, Al Qaeda is still out there, but at least their actions are pretty much limited to blog postings.

McCain should either embrace this endorsement or live up to his word and “follow bin Laden to the gates of hell.” The Elitist suggests the latter. John McCain – go to hell.

Wash Post – Al Qaeda Still Jerk Offs

October 8, 2008

Judge Releases Terrorists

Filed under: Guantanamo Bay, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 3:22 pm

A federal judge has ordered the release of seven Guantánamo Bay detainees. These terrorists will be released on the streets of Washington, DC where they will undoubtedly wreak havoc on the innocents. Sure, these guys are part of the Uighur Muslim minority from western China and never attacked the United States. And sure there is hardly any evidence suggesting that they are somehow terrorists, but President Bush is supposed to have unbridled authority and if he says they’re terrorists, they dammit, they’re terrorists. This judge, who is hiding behind the “rule of law,” is clearly a communist sympathizer and probably in the tank for Obama.

NY Times – Terrorists in DC (no, not Congress)

October 1, 2008

With EBay, the Terrorists Have Already Won

Filed under: Random, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 10:30 am

Some dude bought a Nikon camera on EBay for £17. As he downloaded his family vacation pictures to his computer, he discovered some pictures that were left on the camera. These included pictures of terror suspects, rocket launchers, fingerprints, and top secret documents concerning MI6’s encrypted computer system.

In other words, some idiot sold an MI6 field camera to someone for £17 on EBay. Why do people keep aiding the terrorists by shopping online?

The Daily Mail – MI6 Camera Sold on EBay

September 30, 2008

Kylie Minogue Terror Scare

Filed under: Terrorism — The Elitist @ 12:06 pm
Western Decadence? What Western Decadence?

Western Decadence? What Western Decadence?

No, no, no. This isn’t about Kylie Minogue’s support of musical terrorism. British spies uncovered an Al-Qaeda plot to attack her upcoming gig in Dubai. An Al-Qaeda spokesman said the attack was prompted by complaints from terrorists of not being able to get Minogue out of their heads. – Crap Singer Under Threat

Deja Vu

Filed under: Financial Crisis, George W. Bush, Iraq War, Terrorism — The Elitist @ 11:55 am

High inflation, doomed economy, radical Islamic terror, long gas lines, an ineffective President, and an unpopular war that just won’t quit. That’s right, I’m talking about the 70’s. What saved us from all of that? Ronald Reagan! Well, maybe. Er…not quite. No.

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